


i've been falling much more deep than i want to

by transbuck



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, big surprise: i cant tag shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-15 08:24:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18069944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transbuck/pseuds/transbuck
Summary: "And I might have kind of panicked and told her that I have a boyfriend just to shut her up.""Let me guess. You didn't know that she's gonna be in town next week.""Bingo."





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> its the fake dating au we've all been waiting for!! i've had the idea for this fic in my head for AGES now. i started this about a month ago, but it's taken me a while to muster up the motivation needed to finish it. this originally started as a one shot, but well over halfway through what i have planned, i realized that it was getting LONG and it might make more sense if i split it up into two parts. besides, i want to get this out of my drafts and into the world already  
> as of right now, as im writing this here note, i'd say that im about halfway through the second part, give or take (though its probably take, considering how much i wanna do for the second part). i'm really hopeful that i'll get that done soon-ish but like... we all know my track record of saying "this'll be done soon" but then it takes me like a billion years to actually finish the thing  
> anyway! enough of my yammering on! as usual, catch me on tumblr @diazbuckley. come yell at me to stop putting off writing or w/e. i hope yall enjoy!

Ever since Buck came out to his parents, his relationship with the two of them has become significantly more strained. He straight up hasn't spoken to his father since then, which he's fine with because he never liked the man, but his mother does try and maintain a relationship with him. It's tough, trying to stay in contact with his mother because, as much as he loves her, she's not the most accepting woman in the world. She's always been fairly receptive toward his sexuality although it did take her a little while to get fully used to the idea. It's just the whole... gender thing, so to speak, that's an issue. He loves his mother, he really does, but being misgendered in every other conversation he has with her is a little exhausting.

He does genuinely enjoy getting to hear from his mother, though. She had always been a little harsh with him growing up, but that was always just because she wanted to see him thrive. She was also far easier on him than his father—whenever his father got particularly mad at him, his mother would pull him aside and tell him not to listen to his father. It's because of that that he tolerates the constant misgendering (though he does constantly remind her that his name is  _Evan_ now, it's  _been_ Evan for years now).

Most of the conversations he has with his mother are fairly casual and mundane. They really only talk once every couple of weeks, so most of their conversations are just them catching each other up on their lives. Today, though, she seems a little less keen on catching up and a little more keen on prying into his life a little.

"So, your sister was telling me that she has a boyfriend now," Mom says, almost  _too_ casual. "Chimney, I think she said his name was? He seems very nice, she introduced me to him on the phone the other day."

"Okay? Yeah, his name's Chimney," Buck replies, a little suspicious. "I don't need to be told that he's nice, though. I did kinda introduce him to Maddie in the first place."

"You did? That's nice," Mom replies absently.

"Why are you bringing this up?" Buck asks warily.

"Well, I was just wondering, honey, if you're seeing anyone?" Mom asks, and Buck instantly groans loudly. "I'm just saying, it's been quite a while since you and that Abby girl broke things off. Have you thought about putting yourself out there again?"

" _Mom_ ," Buck says desperately, plopping down onto the couch. How is he supposed to answer that when the only reason he  _hasn't_ put himself 'out there' is because he's kind of in love with his best friend?

"What? You deserve to be happy!" Mom says defensively. "Besides, you're almost 28. Don't you think it's about time you started thinking about settling down? You really should start thinking about getting married and having children of your own. You know, I was your age when me and your father got married. I think you shouldn't be waiting around anymore for the right person, you really need to get out there and meet someone. Maybe your sister can introduce you to someone? I'm sure she knows plenty of respectable people—"

"I don't need Maddie to introduce me to anyone, I already have a boyfriend!" Buck replies, like a total liar, and his eyes immediately widen once he realizes what he's just said. It's a little too late to take it back, though, and maybe it'll get Mom off of his back for a little while.

When the silence on the other end of the phone stretches out a little too long for Buck's comfort, he starts to squirm a little. "Well, that's wonderful," she finally says. "You'll have to introduce me when I'm in town next week."

"Yeah, yeah, sure... Wait, what do you mean 'when I'm in town next week'?"

"Did I not tell you? I'm coming to California to visit you and your sister, and to meet your sister's boyfriend in person," Mom replies, and the more she says, the more Buck starts to panic. "I'd love to meet you and your boyfriend for dinner as well while I'm there."

Buck clears his throat a little, wills his heart to stop beating so fast. "Yeah, definitely, I'll—  _we'll_ find the time to come see you. He's... He's really excited to meet you."

"Tell him that I'm excited to meet him, too, alright? Now, it's getting late, I really should get going."

"Yeah, yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to keep you so late."

"It's fine, dear. I love hearing from you," Mom replies, and it makes Buck feel a little warm inside. "Goodnight, sweetheart, I love you."

"G'night, Mom, love you, too," Buck says, sighing wearily when she hangs up. He sets his phone down next to him, rests his head in his hands. On one hand, he considers the conversation to be a success because there was not one mention of his dead name and there was no misgendering, but on the other hand... Well, where the hell is he supposed to find someone to pretend to be his boyfriend?

It's at that moment, while Buck's trying not to lose his shit, that Maddie enters the room. "You look like someone just murdered a puppy in front of you," she says casually, waltzing over to the couch and plopping down on the couch next to him. "What's wrong?" she asks, a little more sincere, with a gentle hand on his back.

"I fucked up, Mads," Buck grumbles.

"How so?"

"Mom was kind of prying into my love life, telling me I should start thinking about 'settling down' with someone because I'm 'almost 28', and, 'you know, me and your father got married when  _I_ was your age,'" Buck answers bitterly. "And I might have kind of panicked and told her that I have a boyfriend just to shut her up."

"Let me guess. You didn't know that she's gonna be in town next week."

"Bingo." Maddie snorts, pulls her hand away from Buck's back to cover her mouth as she starts laughing. Buck lifts his head to glare at her. "Jeez, I'm glad you find my anguish  _funny_."

"No, no, I'm sorry, I'm not laughing, I'm sorry," Maddie says through very obvious laughter. Buck rolls his eyes. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Just. Wow. This sounds like the plot to one of those cliche rom-coms you make me watch when you're sad." Buck continues to glare at her. "Okay! Okay, I'm being serious now, I promise."

"You gonna offer actual help now or are you gonna keep being a jerk?"

"I'll do my best to offer actual help, you big baby," Maddie replies, poking Buck's side. He squirms away from her a little, making her laugh quietly. "Okay, for real, though. What's the problem?"

"Aw, gee, I dunno, maybe it's the fact that I don't actually have a boyfriend?"

"Alright, drama queen, this isn't the end of the world. There's a very clear solution to this problem."

"And what's that?"

"Just ask Eddie to pretend to be your boyfriend, duh," Maddie replies matter-of-factly.

"You're kidding, right?" Buck asks incredulously.

"What? Why is that idea so crazy? He really cares about you, I'm sure he'd be happy to help."

"No, Mads, I can't ask him to pretend to be my boyfriend," Buck replies with a frown.

"Well, why not?"

"I can't ask the guy I like to pretend to be my fucking  _boyfriend_. I can't get more obvious about my stupid crush than that, Mads."

Maddie pauses a little, narrows her eyes a little. "What if you didn't  _have_ to ask him?" she asks after a moment.

"How am I gonna go about that?"

"You could just tell him that you panicked and told Mom that you have a boyfriend, and now she's insisting on meeting him when she comes into town next week. Who knows, maybe he might offer to help you out," Maddie says with a shrug.

"And he might not."

"Sure, there's always the possibility he won't offer to help," Maddie replies, leaning forward a little. "But maybe you could also not be a coward and just ask him to  _help_ you. I'm sure he'd be glad to help you out. And, y'know, it's either potentially suffer some embarrassment, or tell Mom that you straight up lied to her. Pick your poison, Buck."

Buck sighs, runs his hands down his face before resting his elbows on his knees. "Jesus. This is the worst."

Maddie chuckles a little, smiles sympathetically and gently pats Buck's back. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm sure everything's gonna work out, though—everything always has a funny way of working out."

Buck shakes his head to himself, glances over to send Maddie a grateful smile. "Thanks, Mads. Hopefully I don't ruin our friendship with this."

Maddie laughs and shakes her head, wraps both of her arms around Buck's waist and rests her chin on his shoulder. "It's gonna be fine, weirdo. You don't have anything to worry about." Buck sighs wearily and gently pats her forearms wordlessly.

 

***

 

The next day, Buck finally has a chance to talk to Eddie about his current conundrum. When Eddie walks into the station, Buck starts to feel nervous all over again about bringing the issue up to him. He is really,  _really_ hopeful that Eddie will offer to help out because the thought of asking him is making him feel a little queasy.

The very first thing Eddie does is drift over to the couch and plop down right next to Buck. "Hey, man," Eddie says with a grin that's so bright that it makes fireworks explode in Buck's stomach.

"Hey," Buck says after a moment, offers a smile to Eddie that's a bit forced.

Eddie frowns a little, turns his whole body toward Buck. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, brows furrowed and placing a hand on Buck's shoulder.

"Ah, I'm just... Kinda stressing out over next week," Buck replies.

"What's next week?"

Oh boy. Here it goes. Probably the most awkward explanation of anything that Buck's had to give in his entire life. "Um, well, I was on the phone with my Mom yesterday, right? And she was kind of pestering me about my love life, going on about how I really need to think about settling down with someone. And then, y'see, I kind of... Panicked. And told her that I have a boyfriend. And it turns out that she's gonna be in town next week to visit me and Mads and to meet Chim in person. Um, and then, y'know, she said she wants to meet my boyfriend, who doesn't exist, so. Tryna figure out what to do about all that mess."

" _Wow_ ," Eddie says with a light chuckle. "That's rough, man, I'm sorry." Eddie frowns, pauses for a moment. "If you want, I could help you out with that."

Buck tilts his head, narrows his eyes a little. "Whaaaat do you mean?"

"I mean. You look really worried about all this. And you're my best friend, so I'd be glad to help you out with this," Eddie clarifies with a shrug.

"For real?" Buck asks with a hesitant smile.

"For real," Eddie confirms with a smile that makes Buck melt a little. "Should we come up with a backstory now, or...?" he asks after a moment.

"Oh! Oh, yeah, that might be a good idea," Buck replies through quiet laughter, rubs the back of his neck.

"So, if she asks how long we've been together, what should we say?" Eddie asks.

"Um... Six months? Is that... Is that a good amount of time?"

Eddie laughs a little. "Yeah, sure, that's good. And- y'know, it'd probably be best to say, if she asks how we met, that we met at work, yeah? It'll be easier to keep our story straight if it's as close to the truth as possible."

"Yeah, yeah, that's, um, probably a pretty good idea. Umm, and, y'know, she's probably gonna ask about our first date. She's a, uh, a real romantic sap—"

"Kinda like you?"

Buck playfully pouts and glares at Eddie. "Ha ha," he says with a roll of his eyes. " _Anyway_. If and when she asks about our first date... What should we say?"

"Hm." Eddie squints a little, brows furrowing as he considers the question. "Well, I think we should say that I took you to a nice dinner and to see a movie. What do you think?"

Buck's cheeks flush a little as he thinks about that made-up date being  _real_. He thinks about them both dressing up, about Eddie picking him up and bringing him to a nice restaurant. He thinks about Eddie pulling his chair out for him. He thinks about holding Eddie's hand on top of the table. He thinks about Eddie putting his arm around him at the movie theater. He thinks about whispering commentary to Eddie that makes him laugh. He thinks about holding Eddie's hand as he drives him home. He thinks about Eddie walking him up to the front door. He thinks about stopping Eddie before he can leave to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Yeah, that sounds nice. After a moment, he realizes he's yet to respond. "Oh! Um, yeah, yeah, that sounds really good."

The smile Eddie throws his way makes his heart melt a little. "Cool. Is there anything else we should think about?"

Buck furrows his brows a little before shaking his head. "No, I think we're good."

"Cool," Eddie says. "Text me when you know when we're gonna meet your Mom?"

Buck smiles broadly and nods. He feels like this dinner is going to be a bit of an embarrassing disaster, but it'll be worth it to be able hold Eddie's hand for a good long while.

 


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's _here_! And I'm not ready yet! Oh, my God, Mads, can you get the door? I don't want to keep him waiting!"
> 
> "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were getting ready for an _actual_ date with Eddie right now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh hey! look at me, finally finishing a multi-part fic for once. it's truly a miracle. this chapter was originally supposed to be much shorter but like........ it accidentally got super long. i hope thats ok afhdkf  
> anyway, this chapter has everything yall could POSSIBLY need: buck being dumb and soft and in love, maddie being the Best sister/best friend, and eddie being supportive af, plus some other Good Shit that i dont wanna spoil. so! i hope yall enjoy!! and i hope this is worth the wait :D

The night of the dinner comes by quicker than Buck had thought it would. His Mom had wanted to see them the night she had gotten into town, which made him feel very nervous, but it's not like he could ask her to reschedule without her most likely getting suspicious. So, on the night of, Buck is kind of freaking out as he rushes to get ready.

Just as Buck's in the middle of trying to tie his tie with Maddie's help, there's a knock on the door. "Oh, my God!" Buck exclaims with wide eyes. "He's _here_! And I'm not ready yet! Oh, my God, Mads, can you get the door? I don't want to keep him waiting!"

Maddie gives him a vaguely amused look, shakes her head to herself. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were getting ready for an _actual_  date with Eddie right now." Buck glares at her a little. She laughs quietly, holds up her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'll go let him in, goofball. Don't take a million years to finish, alright?"

"I'm not gonna take a million years, shut up," Buck grumbles with a slight pout.

"Sure you won't!" Maddie says with a laugh before exiting the room and heading down the stairs to go and let Eddie in. Buck hears her open the door and shout, "Eddie! Come on in!" Buck can't quite tell what Eddie says in response, but the fact that he's _here_  makes Buck feel nervous all over again. He speeds through tying his tie and quickly shrugs on his jacket before rushing down the stairs.

"There he is," Eddie says once Buck enters the room, and it almost makes Buck forget that all of this is fake. "Ready to go?"

Buck forgets how to speak for a moment because Eddie's gaze feels so heavy on him. "Um, yeah, yeah, I'm ready." The smile Eddie gives him in response is blinding.

"Have fun, you two," Maddie says, interrupting whatever capital-M moment was starting to form between Buck and Eddie. "Remember what we talked about, Buck. Stand up to her if she does that _thing_  again, got it?" she continues, poking Buck's chest. "No more being all passive about it."

"I know, Mads. I'll be fine," Buck replies, giving her a tight side hug. "Have fun while I'm gone, okay? Love you, Mads," he continues as he starts toward the door.

"Love you, too, little brother!" Maddie calls out as Buck and Eddie leave the apartment, Buck shutting the door behind them.

"What did she mean by 'that thing'?" Eddie asks once they're in his car.

"What?"

"Maddie said something about standing up to your Mom if she does 'that thing'. What's 'that thing'?" Eddie clarifies, glancing over at Buck as he pulls out of the driveway.

Buck waves a dismissive hand. "It's kind of a personal thing. And you don't even have to worry about it, it probably won't even happen," he says, although he knows that there is a very real and very likely possibility that "that thing" is going to happen, "that thing" being the dead naming and misgendering. Who knows, though—he might get lucky and his Mom won't mention any of that stuff. Eddie frowns a little but says nothing further.

Soon enough, they've arrived at the restaurant they're supposed to meet Buck's Mom at. When Eddie parks, the nerves hit Buck all over again. He takes a deep, shaky breath, wipes his sweaty hands against his thighs. Eddie turns in his seat to face Buck, sets a gentle hand on his forearm. "Hey, are you okay?"

The sincerity and gentleness in Eddie's voice could almost make Buck cry, but thankfully, he doesn't. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little nervous. Haven't seen my Mom in person since I was 18."

Eddie frowns sympathetically, hand drifting down to rest on top of Buck's hand. Something about it feels so intimate and romantic that it just about makes Buck's heart explode in his chest. "I'm sorry, Buck. But don't worry, I'm gonna be by your side the entire time, alright?" he asks, gently patting Buck's hand.

Buck's gaze drifts from their hands over to Eddie, and he offers him a crooked little smile. "Alright. Let's do this thing."

The grin that that pulls out of Eddie makes Buck swoon a little. "That's what I like to hear," he says, withdrawing his hand from Buck's to hop out of the car. Buck takes a deep breath before following.

They walk through the parking lot and into the restaurant in a comfortable silence. It's only when Buck catches a glimpse of his Mom that he starts freaking out again. Eddie must sense his panic because he wordlessly reaches over and grabs Buck's hand, intertwining their fingers. Buck knows that the gesture is just for show, but it's still making his brain melt a little bit. He glances down at their joined hands, blushes a little before looking over at Eddie. "I got you, Buck," he says quietly with a comforting smile.

"Thanks," Buck murmurs, squeezing Eddie's hand a little as they make their way over to the table his Mom's sitting at. Eddie wordlessly pulls Buck's chair out for him, and he smiles a little as he sits. "Hey, Mom," he says as Eddie sits down. Eddie easily grabs Buck's hand again, sets their joined hands on the table. His Mom gets out the first syllable of his dead name, which makes his stomach lurch and his heart stop. "Mom, _please_ ," he says in a whispered tone, interrupting her before she can finish. He leans a little closer to her, spares a quick glance over at Eddie and prays to whatever God there is that Eddie won't hear what he's about to say. "You can't... You can't do this shit, Mom. I love you, you know I do, but you just... You need to stop. It's _Evan_ , Mom. I've told you this a million times. And— and, I know you think you lost your daughter, but you didn't. You only ever had one daughter to begin with. It just took me a little while to come to terms with the fact that I'm your son. I'm still me, Mom. Nothing changed. So just... I... Just, _please_. For the love of God. Stop calling me that name. It's not _my_ name anymore."

Mom blinks owlishly at him, and for a moment, he's almost afraid that she's going to yell at him. But instead, she says the one thing he's been wanting to hear from her for years. "Okay... Evan," she says it a little shakily, almost a little uncertain, but just hearing his name come out of her mouth at all is enough to send his mind reeling, and it brings a goofy smile to his face. "Evan. It's... It's good to see you, sweetheart."

"It's good to see you, too, Mom," Buck replies, leaning back in his seat.

"Now, are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend, or am I going to have to start guessing his name?"

Oh! He had almost forgotten Eddie was even there, hadn't even noticed the way Eddie had been rubbing his thumb against his knuckles. "Right, ummm. Mom, this is my boyfriend, Eddie Diaz," he says, gesturing toward Eddie. Just saying those words, although he knows they aren't true, makes his heart soar. It feels _right_. He turns in his seat to look over at Eddie. "Ed— Babe, this is my Mom." God, Buck could get used to this.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Buckley," Eddie says, ever the gentleman as he holds his out across the table for Mom to take.

Mom glances over at Buck with a slightly surprised look. She takes Eddie's hand and shakes it with a grin. "Please, just call me Kathy."

"Then it's a pleasure to meet you, Kathy," Eddie amends with a charming smile. It makes Buck swoon a little.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Eddie," Mom replies as she lets go of Eddie's hand. She sits back in her seat and studies the two of them for a moment. "Well, aren't you two a handsome couple? How long have you been together?"

Buck glances over at Eddie for half a moment, mostly just to reassure himself that he's not alone. Eddie wordlessly squeezes his hand a little. "Umm, about six months or so?" he finally says, glancing at Eddie again, as if trying to look for some confirmation although he doesn't need any.

"Sounds about right. Feels like longer, though, doesn't it?" Eddie says. Buck looks over at him, and there's an unreadable, capital-S something in his eyes that feels so intense that Buck's face heats up a little and he hurriedly looks away.

"Well, isn't that lovely," Mom says sweetly. The proud, beaming grin she sends Buck's way makes him feel warm inside. "How did you two meet?"

"Well," Eddie starts, and when he removes his hand from Buck's, Buck starts to panic a little. But then Eddie's throwing his arm casually around Buck's shoulders, and the extra contact has fireworks going off in his brain. "We met at work, actually. On my first day."

"Ah, so you're a firefighter, too?" Mom asks curiously.

"Yes, ma'am," Eddie replies, and Buck can already tell that Mom  _loves_ Eddie right about now.

"Yeah. We  _hated_ each other," Buck adds.

"No, we did not," Eddie replies through laughter, squeezes Buck's shoulder lightly. " _You_ hated  _me_!"

"What are you talking about?" Buck jokes through laughter when he turns his head to face Eddie.

" _I_ was trying to play nice with you  _all_ day, but  _you_ were such a jerk the entire time." Eddie turns to look at Mom with a crooked smile, the one that always makes Buck's heart beat a little faster. "He was such a brat, it's truly a wonder that I managed to fall in love with him."

Well. Doesn't that just send Buck's mind reeling. He knows Eddie's just saying it for appearances' sake, but even then, it has butterflies floating around his stomach, and his heart's beating so fast and hard that he's sure it's about to burst out of his chest.

Before anyone says anything further, a waiter comes by to take their orders. Eddie, being the perfect fake boyfriend he is, takes the liberty of ordering for Buck  _and_ himself. The gesture, however simple, makes Buck smile just a little bit wider.

The moment the waiter leaves, Mom sits back in her chair a bit, fixing the two of them with a capital-L look. Buck knows, he just  _knows_ that the "first date" question is coming up. They're prepared for it, thank God, but he just knows that his heart is going to ache as he tells the story of a first date he's sure he'll never have. "So," Mom finally says, eyes shining with curiosity. "Tell me about your first date."

Eddie must feel Buck tense up, because he squeezes Buck's shoulder lightly before gently rubbing his upper arm "Well, we both got dressed up all nice, I picked him up from Maddie's apartment, and then I treated him to a nice dinner," Eddie begins.

"And then, um, after dinner, he took me to go see a movie," Buck continues. "I honestly can't remember what movie it was, though, now that I think about it."

"I remember you had been talking about wanting to see that movie for ages," Eddie says gently, and Buck looks over at him with fond eyes. "I think the smile you gave me when I told you we were seeing it is what made me realize that I love you."

Buck blushes a little (read: a lot) at that. He tries to remind himself that every word out of Eddie's mouth is just for show. But a guy can dream, can't he? "I remember whispering jokes and commentary to you the entire time. Every time I got you to laugh, I fell a little harder for you." It's not  _entirely_ a lie. Every time Buck manages to pull even a light chuckle out of Eddie, he feels just a little more in love, and a little proud of himself for getting Eddie to smile.

"I wanted to take you on a walk afterwards," Eddie adds, and Buck's a little worried because he's pretty sure they haven't talked about any kind of walks when planning all of this. "But I had to go relieve the babysitter. I was in such a rush to get home to Christopher that I almost didn't kiss you goodnight after I dropped you off."

"You're a father?" Mom suddenly asks, breaking the trance that looking at Eddie was putting Buck under. He looks back at her just as she turns her attention towards Buck. "Evan, you're aware of the responsibilities that come with co-parenting, yes? Are you sure you're ready for all of that? I know I told you that you should start thinking about settling down with someone, but maybe it's a little too soon for that—"

" _Mom_ ," Buck interrupts, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Why are you grilling  _me_?  _I'm_ your son!"

"I know, I know. I'm just worried about you, Evan. You never really handled responsibility very well, and parenting requires a lot of responsibility, especially when you're coming in partway through someone's childhood," Mom explains.

"If I may interrupt for a moment," Eddie suddenly says. They both turn to look at him. "Buck is... he's  _amazing_ with my son. Buck treats him like was his own kid. And Christopher  _adores_ Buck with all of his heart. He'll make a really good father to his own kid someday." He gives Buck a fond look that makes Buck's heart turn to mush.

Mom seems sufficiently satisfied by the answer, glancing over at Buck with a slightly surprised look. "Well, Evan, maybe that means you  _should_ start settling down—"

"Mom!" Buck says, face bright red. Eddie chuckles from beside him, and Buck turns to glare at him for a moment. "Mom, it is  _way_ too early for us to think about kids!"

"What? Eddie seems like a nice, respectable man, and a wonderful father," Mom says defensively, gesturing towards Eddie. "Besides, me and your father got married after only six months of dating! I don't see the problem, son."

Buck pouts a little bit and is about to say more when Eddie starts to remove his arm from Buck's shoulder. Buck had almost forgotten it was there, it had just felt so natural. "As riveting as this conversation is, I have to head to the bathroom," he says with an apologetic smile. He stands, and just before he walks off, he leans down and presses a quick kiss to Buck's lips.

And just like that, Buck's heart is exploding in his chest. He watches Eddie walk away with a wide, fond grin, and he's sure there actual hearts in his eyes. He's spent an almost embarrassing amount of time imagining his and Eddie's first kiss, but none of them were as nice as this. He knows that it's just for show, he  _knows_. But his brain's currently in the process of imploding because the kiss was so gentle and so sweet, and something about it felt so habitual, almost as if this were the millionth time they've kissed. He can't help but sigh dreamily at that thought.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Mom asks gently, startling Buck out of his reverie. He looks back over at her with wide eyes, feeling almost as if he's been caught doing something he's not supposed to. "As much as I enjoy teasing you, I really do think that you two have something beautiful going on. I wouldn't be surprised if a proposal was in your future."

"Mom,  _please_ ," Buck says, borderline begging. "I'm not ready for marriage, yet, Mom. And I'm  _definitely_ not ready to think about proposing to him." Not to mention that he kind of  _can't_ propose to him, seeing as how their entire relationship is a farce.

"I'm not saying that I can see  _you_ proposing," Mom says. "I'm saying that I can see  _him_ proposing."

Buck blushes at that, eyes going a little wide. "What... What makes you think that?"

"The way he looks at you, sweetheart. Every time you say anything, he looks at you as if you're the most interesting wo—  _man_ in the world." Mom pauses for a while, squinting at Buck a little. "And, for that matter,  _you_ look at  _him_ as if he's the most interesting man in the world. You two are... You're very good together, I think. I can see you two being together for a very long time."

Buck blushes a bit more, leans back in his seat. "Well... Maybe I'm just a little bit in love with him."

"Just a little bit?" Mom asks with a knowing smile.

"Okay, maybe I'm really in love with him. I just... I can't help loving him, y'know? Like, he's just always there for me whenever I need him. And he's always been so good to me. And I know it's, like, the most cliche thing in the world, but I guess I fell in love with my best friend."

Mom opens her mouth to say something else, but just before she gets the chance, Eddie's returning at the same time their meals are brought out to them. "I hope I didn't miss anything?" Eddie says once the waiter walks away, settling back in his seat. When he leans forward and presses a kiss to Buck's cheek, Buck tries to act as if his heart's not beating rapidly in his chest.

"You have perfect timing. We were just talking about you," Mom says, sending a wink Buck's way. Buck can't help but groan and lean into Eddie's shoulder instinctively.

"All good things, I hope?" Eddie replies, wrapping his arm back around Buck's shoulders. It feels  _right_.

"All great things," Buck murmurs, and he only hopes that Eddie doesn't notice it.

After that, the three of them fall into pleasant conversation as they eat. Mom kind of interrogates Eddie a little bit, asking him all sorts of questions about himself that Buck thinks are a little too invasive, though Eddie does tell him with a soft squeeze of the shoulder that it's  _fine_ , he doesn't mind the questions at all. Much to Buck's embarrassment, Mom shares quite a few embarrassing stories from his childhood, but he's at the very least glad that she leaves out any details regarding skirts or dresses. She's learning, he thinks.

Before he realizes it, the evening is coming to a close. Buck's a little surprised that they've managed to make it through the dinner without Mom getting suspicious. Part of him is glad that the night's almost over, because then he can stop lying to his mother and he can finally stop worrying that she'll find out that this is all a farce. The other part of him is sad that it's almost over, because as soon as his mother's gone, he's right back to being Just Friends with Eddie, and he doesn't think he can go back to that now that they've kissed and now that his mother's put the idea in his head of Eddie being in love with him right back. Soon enough, Mom's paying for the meal, insisting that  _she_ invited the two of them out,  _she_ should pay, and just like that, the three of them are walking out of the restaurant. He hardly pays attention to the conversation Mom and Eddie are having because he's too focused on the feeling of Eddie's hand in his, of their fingers intertwined, of how  _good_ it feels.

"Well, it's been a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Buckley," Eddie says at some point, and Buck realizes that they're standing in front of what must be Mom's rental car. Eddie holds his hand out for her to shake, ever the gentleman.

" _Kathy_. Just call me  _Kathy_ ," Mom insists, ignoring his hand altogether to pull him into a hug that's a little awkward because Eddie doesn't let go of Buck's hand.

"Right. Kathy. I'm so glad I finally got to meet you," Eddie amends with a light chuckle.

Mom smiles and nods at Eddie before turning her attention towards Buck. Buck wants to say something, what exactly, he isn't sure, but then Mom's pulling him into a tight hug that leaves him feeling warm inside. "I love you so much, son," she says just loud enough for Buck to hear, "and I'm so sorry."

Buck rubs her back with his free hand. "I love you, too, Mom. And it's..." he hesitates for a moment. He wants to say that it's okay, but it's really not. After a moment, he settles on, "I forgive you." That feels about right.

Then, Mom's pulling away from him and giving him that wide, proud smile of hers. "Well, I should get going. Tonight has been lovely, but I'm exhausted. Goodnight, you two."

Buck and Eddie both respond in kind, waving at her as she gets into her rental car and pulls out of the parking lot. A few moments after she's gone, Eddie drops Buck's hand. Buck briefly mourns the loss of that contact as they head over to Eddie's car. "Well," Eddie says once they've made it into his car. "You survived. How do you feel?"

Buck uses putting his seat belt on as an excuse to not meet Eddie's eyes. "Umm, I'm not sure," he says cautiously. "I mean. I think she bought it, so I'm not as worried as I was before. But, uh, my heart's still beating fast from..." From holding your hand, he wants to say. From getting to kiss you, he wants to stay. But instead, he finishes off by saying, "From lying to her so much."

"I'd imagine," Eddie replies as he pulls out of the parking lot. "You seemed pretty stressed out the entire time. But are you feeling okay?"

Buck hesitates for half a second before saying, "Yeah. I'm doing alright." He smiles at Eddie when he glances over.

"Good," Eddie murmurs, throwing his own smile in Buck's direction.

For a while, they fall into a comfortable silence. Buck enjoys this, just  _being_ with Eddie. He likes that they don't even have to talk, just have to be near each other, to have a good time.

After a little while, Eddie cautiously breaks that silence. "So, I wanted to ask you something." Buck glances over at him, raises his eyebrow a little. He hums questioningly. "So, um, forgive me if I'm crossing a line here or something, but there's something your mom said early on in the night that kind of confused me? Or, rather, something that you  _both_ said that confused me." Eddie pauses, takes a deep breath, and Buck sees that he looks a little tense. "I guess she was, like, going to say your name or something, but you interrupted her before she could finish." Buck's stomach drops. "But, um, what I managed to catch sounded nothing like 'Buck'  _or_ 'Evan'. And I didn't hear everything you said, but I did hear you say something to the effect of... 'That's not my name anymore'. And I just... I've been wondering all night what that was all about."

Buck huffs, shakes his head to himself. He had considered the possibility that Eddie hadn't heard that bit of conversation, but it seems that the universe just really, really hates his guts. "Well. Um. Was kinda hoping I wouldn't have to talk about this," he says after a while, looking away from Eddie now.

"It's fine, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I was just, um, confused," Eddie says quickly.

"No, no, it's okay, I just..." Buck sighs, turns his head to look at Eddie. "It's not, like, my most favorite thing to talk about. But Maddie's been telling me that, um, it might be a good idea to talk to people about it? So I don't have to, like, keep hiding things or whatever. I'd rather have, like, time to prepare something, I guess? But now's as good a time as any." He pauses, closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath to calm himself down. Logically, he knows that Eddie isn't going to make a huge deal out of him coming out. Eddie's always been far more level headed than Buck, and Buck really admires him for that. The thing is, though, that talking about being trans, even in the briefest of conversations, is one of his least favorite things. He likes to keep it to himself. But if there's anyone he trusts with this, it's Eddie. "So, um, I'm trans. And that's, uh, sorta why that conversation happened. 'Cause, um, my mom's never really... Accepted it? Um, y'know, like, tonight was the first time she's ever called me Evan, and I've been out to my parents for almost ten years now, so..." he shrugs a little.

Eddie's quiet for a few moments. The more irrational part of Buck starts to worry about what this prolonged silence means, but then Eddie finally speaks up. "Thank you for telling me," he says quietly. "It sounds like it took you a lot of courage to be able to tell me, so... Thank you. And I'm very proud of you."

Buck stares at Eddie in awe for a moment. The fact that Eddie isn't making this a big, emotional thing fills Buck with relief. "Well. Um. Thanks for being cool about it. This doesn't, uh, change anything, does it?"

"Of course it doesn't change anything," Eddie replies, and he sounds a little incredulous. "You're still Buck. You're still my best friend. None of that's different now. I just... Know a little more about you, that's all."

Buck smiles gratefully when Eddie glances over at him, though he doesn't have anything else to say on the subject. Instead, he says, "Thanks, by the way. For, um, for tonight. I probably would've died of embarrassment if I had to admit to my mom that I lied to her. You're, um, a pretty great fake boyfriend."

"No problem, Buck. You're a pretty great fake boyfriend yourself," Eddie replies easily. "Besides, you know I'd do anything for you."

Something about the statement feels particularly loaded, but Buck doesn't quite have the bravery needed to face it. So, he lets them fall into yet another comfortable silence.

Before Buck knows it, Eddie's parking in front of Maddie's apartment. Buck tries not to be disappointed about the evening officially being over, but he can't quite help it. Not wanting to leave Eddie quite yet, using the last of the courage Buck has left, asks, "You wanna walk me to the door?"

"Of course, what kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I  _didn't_?" Eddie replies with a crooked grin that makes Buck swoon a little.

Buck just grins at Eddie as he unbuckles his seat belt. When they both hop out of the car, they gravitate to each other's side. Eddie casually takes off his jacket and holds his jacket in the crook of his arm. Buck tries not to drool at how tight Eddie's shirt is around his arms and chest. "Thanks again, for everything you've done for me tonight," Buck says as they meander up Maddie's doorstep, shoulders bumping against each other. "I appreciate you coming through for me."

"Seriously, Buck, it's no problem," Eddie says gently, sending the sweetest of smile Buck's way. Buck can't help the way he smiles right back. And just like that, they're standing on the doorstep, but Eddie doesn't move to head back to his car. "I actually had a pretty good time tonight," Eddie murmurs.

"Me, too," Buck replies quietly. He can't help it when he glances down at Eddie's lips once or twice, wishing tonight had been a  _real_ date so he'd be able to lean forward and kiss Eddie.

Eddie looks as if he's about to say goodnight and leave, but then the most amazing thing happens. Eddie looks down at Buck's hand, reaches forward to grab it, intertwining their fingers. Buck's breath hitches a little, and when Eddie slowly looks back up and meets his eyes, Buck feels like he's in heaven. Eddie leans forward, and when their lips are just barely an inch away, he asks, "Is this okay?"

Buck has no idea how to speak in this moment, so he just nods slowly. And then, Eddie's leaning forward that last little bit, and the moment their lips are pressed together, Buck just about melts. He knows they've already kissed once or twice tonight, but this... This is real. This is for no one else but them. That thought makes Buck's heart beat so hard and fast that he's sure Eddie can feel it. Buck tentatively brings his other hand up to gently cup Eddie's cheek. When he feels Eddie's hand on his waist, gently pulling him close enough that their bodies are pressed up against each other, Buck feels like every single moment in his life has been leading up to this one. He feels relieved, almost, especially when he feels Eddie drag his hand up from his waist to his back, and when Eddie gently squeezes his hand? Buck is  _so_ gone for him.

After what feels like hours and hours of Eddie holding Buck close and kissing him deep and languidly, Eddie very slowly pulls away, but he doesn't stray too far. He presses their foreheads together, and Buck watches with almost curious eyes as Eddie closes his own eyes. "I better go," Eddie whispers, brushing his nose gently against Buck's, but he makes no effort to untangle himself from Buck. He leans forward to kiss Buck lightly once, twice, and three times. "I'll see you tomorrow at work?"

It takes Buck a moment to find his voice, swallowing thickly. "Yeah. Tomorrow," he manages quietly.

Eddie hums a little, slowly pulls away from Buck. He steps away, taking his time to pull his hand out of Buck's. "Goodnight. I'll text you when I get home?"

Buck nods slowly, eyes darting around Eddie's face. "Yeah. Goodnight, Eddie." He watches Eddie head back to his car with a fond, almost lovesick smile on his face. After he sees Eddie pull away from the curb, he turns and lets himself into Maddie's apartment.

"Hey, there he is!" Maddie shouts from the living room. She turns in her seat on the couch to look at Buck as he shrugs his jacket off and hangs it up by the front door. "How'd it go?" she asks while Buck meanders into the kitchen.

" _Amazing_ ," Buck says breathlessly. "I— Better than I ever could've imagined."

"Oh yeah?" Maddie asks with a grin. She rests her chin on her hands. "What was so amazing about it?"

"Well," Buck pauses as he considers what to tell her about first, pouring himself a glass of water. "Mom called me Evan for the first time," he says finally.

"You're  _kidding_!" Maddie exclaims, sitting up a bit more. "Buck, that's  _amazing_. You stood up to her?"

Buck nods as he takes a sip of her water. "Yeah, she called me her son  _and_ a man, too."

Maddie sniffles a little, smiling wide and proud. "God, it's about time she finally started with that. I'm so proud of you for not taking her shit."

Buck blushes a little and averts his gaze. "I also, um, came out to Eddie tonight. And he was super cool about it. Didn't make a big deal about it or anything."

"What? That's amazing!" Maddie exclaims. "I thought you weren't quite ready to come out to anyone else yet?"

Buck shrugs a little. "I mean. He heard what I said to Mom, about how I'm not her daughter anymore, and he asked about it earlier. And I figured, well, I'd rather tell him now than have him wondering what that was all about."

"Well, I'm very proud of you for that. And I'm glad he didn't make a big deal about it. I'd probably have to punch him if he had," Maddie says seriously.

Buck laughs and shakes his head a little. He meanders out of the kitchen now, leaning against the wall behind the couch. "Yeah. Um, also, Eddie kind of sort of kissed me. And I kissed him back."

" _What_?!" Maddie shouts. She practically leaps over the couch and rushes over to Buck. She grabs his shoulders and shakes him a little. "Are you  _serious_? Are you  _kidding_ me? Oh my God, you guys  _kissed_?!"

Buck nods and laughs at Maddie's dramatics. "Yes, I'm serious. No, I'm  _not_ kidding you. And yes, we kissed. And it was, like, the most amazing thing ever. It felt like coming home, y'know?"

Maddie grins at him, throws her arms around his neck and pulls him in for a tight but brief hug. "Oh my God, that's  _amazing_. I'm so, so,  _so_ happy for you, little brother." She pulls away now, rests her hands on his shoulders to smile up at him. "I'm so glad tonight went so well for you. C'mon, come tell me  _everything_. Start to finish." She drags him over to the couch and he laughs as they settle down next to each other.

About halfway through Buck's retelling of the evening's events, he feels his phone buzz in his back pocket. "Oh, hold on one sec," he mumbles, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and quickly unlocks it. He can't help the goofy grin that spreads across his face when he sees that it's a text from Eddie.

_Eddie: Can i take you out on a real date this friday? I'm thinking 7pm, i'll pick you up with flowers and everything_

Buck only grins wider as he types out a quick response of  _that sounds great :D_. "Wow, you've really fallen for him, haven't you?" Maddie suddenly asks, and Buck jumps in surprise. He glares and shoves her away when he notices that she's been peering over his shoulder for who knows how long. "What? It was a simple observation! C'mon, look at the emoticon you're using. You might as well add about a thousand exclamation points to the end of that text."

"Literally shut up," Buck grumbles, blushing and pouting. He's vaguely aware that he probably looks like a petulant little kid right about now, but he doesn't care.

Maddie laughs and teasingly pinches Buck's cheek. "Come on, Buckaroo. I'm just teasing you. I'm super happy for you, kiddo. I've never seen you look so happy to see someone. It's really sweet."

Buck blushes a little bit more, but he manages to send her a crooked little smile after batting her hand away. "I think I'm probably happier now than I've  _ever_ been. This has been the greatest night of my life."

Maddie sighs happily, getting a little more sincere now. "That's awesome. I'm so happy for you." She glances over at the clock hanging on her living room wall. "It's late. I'm gonna head to bed. G'night, Buckaroo, love you," she says, standing up off of the couch. She ruffles Buck's hair a little, laughing as he smacks her hands away before heading up to her room.

Buck lets out a yawn, stretching his arms out above his head before standing. Before heading off to his own room, he grabs his phone, excitedly anticipating any future texts from Eddie. He gets changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants, turns off the lights, and quickly crawls into bed. Soon enough, he gets another text from Eddie that has his heart turning into mush in his chest.

_Eddie: I'm about to head to bed, but i really wanted to say goodnight... again  
Eddie: So... goodnight_  
_Buck: what a coincidence, i'm heading to bed too. goodnight again :)_

With a smile, Buck locks his phone and squirms a little to get comfortable. He shuts his eyes and is about to fall asleep when he feels his phone buzz from beside his head. He jolts a little, scrambles to grab it and unlock it. He grins when he reads the text.

_Eddie: So this is kind of embarrassing but i can't sleep and i was wondering if i could call you? I might be able to fall asleep if i'm listening to your voice_   
_Buck: are you calling me boring? :P_   
_Eddie: Ha ha. You know what i mean, nerd_   
_Buck: yeah yeah, you love me anyway. but yeah, you can totally call me. i'd like that a lot, actually_   
_Eddie: Yeah, maybe i do. Just a little bit though_

Before Buck can properly react to what Eddie said, the man himself calls him. "Hi," Buck murmurs as soon as he answers the phone. He puts it on speaker and sets his phone down beside his head.

"Hey," Eddie replies, and Buck hears a little shuffling before Eddie's speaking again. "I miss you."

"It hasn't even been an hour since we were together," Buck replies, breathing out a soft huff of laughter.

"Well, now that I know what it feels like to kiss you, I don't want to  _stop_ doing it," Eddie says, sounding just a little defensive. It makes Buck laugh fondly. "I can't wait 'til tomorrow."

"Why's that?"

"'Cause I get to see you again. And seeing you again means I get to kiss you again. And kissing you is pretty enjoyable."

"Yeah? You're sweet," Buck whispers, feeling his face heat up a little. "I can't wait 'til Friday. Maybe we can make that fake first date a reality?"

"That'd be nice," Eddie murmurs. "I've kind of thought about what our first date would be like. Is that embarrassing?"

Buck can't help laughing a little. "Not at all. I've thought about it a lot, too. I've also thought about our first kiss a lot, too. I can't believe we wasted it on our fake date."

Eddie chuckles, and knowing that  _he_ caused that, it makes Buck smile. "I'm  _sorry_. I wanted to make it  _convincing_. And maybe I wanted to be a little self-indulgent."

"God, you're so cute," Buck mumbles, mostly to himself.

"You're pretty cute yourself," Eddie replies. Buck blushes furiously at that. "Kinda wish you were here with me," he adds through a yawn.

Buck fights off a yawn of his own. "I wish I was with you, too." He breathes in deeply, letting his eyes flutter shut. "Mm, g'night Eddie."

"G'night, Buck," Eddie murmurs, sounding exhausted.

Buck can't help the grin that spreads across his face. As he slowly starts to fall asleep, lulled by the sound of Eddie's breathing, he can't help but be excited for what the future has in store for the two of them.


End file.
